Don’t be a Creepy Stalker Guy when She isn’t interested

Me: I warned you. You gave me your word you’d call me instead of her next time and I might have her call you… you lied to me and now you get to deal with it

Me: You should consider killing yourself

Me: It’d be easier to deal with .. remember I don’t fight but I will make your life hell

Crazy Stalker Guy: Your bored and run your mouth get a life I dont want a call for her I want nothing from you two but to get out of my life

Me: I’m at work and I’m far from bored with the girl you’re fuckin crazy for… why are you calling her if you want her out of your life? Turn around walk away and don’t look back

Me: I warned you asshole. I told You What not to do and you did it. Now you’re fucked! :-)

Crazy Stalker Guy: Im over this I saw her number and got weak just leave me alone and I promise you will never hear from me again

Me: Y should I believe you? Why haven’t you deleted her number yet? U know I will make your life agonizing so now’s not the time to lie…

Crazy Stalker Guy: When you get rid of a number it does get rid of past calls

Me: Dude… I don’t have time for your excuses… throw your phone in the toilet if you don’t know how to use it. You lied to me… and you are creeping her out… fix it or I will NEVER leave You alone

Crazy Stalker Guy: Wont happen again I dont need this in my life

Me: Ya… I know you don’t… I will destroy you beyond your already pathetic existence … you earned yourself a week of hell… make it through it without contacting amber and you’re free… I don’t let people lie to me and get away with it

Click here to hear the prank

Crazy Stalker Guy: You just Run your mouth? Your nothing but a bitch. You going to prank me to death

Me: Don’t you wish! I thought I told you… I do marketing… your call with the angry black man is now being distributed to every corner of the internet with your picture and a bunch of mad reviews from exes you’ve never had talking about how creepy You are and your stalker tactics.. good luck getting a girl or a job for that matter ;-) quit now or i will make sure your reputation is destroyed

Me: Fyi… I’m just getting started and having fun at work .. you do not want to become a personal project of mine

Me: No need for phone calls I told u I’m at work .. just stop communication to me and or amber and you will be left alone.

Crazy Stalker Guy: Ok you win man I was dumb for callin just let it die its not like I tryed to hurt anyone let me just move on I saw her number and it was impulsive

Me: Is it deleted? And is your call history cleared? We are doing this my way now… you don’t have a choice

Crazy Stalker Guy: Gone and after this text those are gone too

Me: I don’t believe you but we’ll wait and see wont we? Sure would hate to see what’ll happen if you’re lying again :-) Good luck and goodbye David.

THE WEEK OF HELL

Day 1 – Text Bombing

Me: Fair warning, I still don’t believe you… 6 more days :)  SENT 20 TIMES
Crazy David: Get a life I dont want anything from you guys ill go about my business and you do the same 4:01 PM
Me: You lied to me… I told you what you get for that… ignore it and it will go away ;) SENT 50 TIMES
Crazy David: You make me more and more happy by you doing this, im better person then you and as much as you guys try to hurt me you cant because ill still be the bigger man 4:16 PM
Me: You don’t learn do you? Stop responding and I will leave you alone. I told you I would do something, and I am doing it. Follow the rules n you’re off the hook SENT 100 TIMES
Me: 1 week. each time you reply, I will double the messages you get :)  SENT 100 TIMES
Crazy David: Your a joke. 4:20 PM
Me: You don’t believe me? SENT 200 TIMES
Crazy David: I just want you out of my life 4:24 PM
Me: Then stop replying… you earned a week of shit. Like I told you, I keep my word. Make it through and follow the rules… and I’ll leave you alone.. dont reply SENT 400 TIMES
Day 2, 3, and 4 – Silent Treatment 
This is the best part. If he can make it through this, he is likely to have gotten the point and submitted to being my bitch as far as I’m concerned. Still 3 more days to see if he gets it or we have to get more creative.

Explosive Recalls and Decade Late Recalls, what has happened to due diligence?

I just read this article of the weeks latest recalls… it can be found here.

I just want to make a few points here…

* McNeil Consumer Healthcare recalled millions of packages of Children’s Benadryl and Motrin because of issues in the manufacturing process.

– Why aren’t there any listed risks here? There are millions of these packages being recalled and my kids, like yours, are way too important to not know more about what these manufacturing “issues” were and what they could mean to our children if ingested.

* Bassett Furniture recalled about 90,000 drop-side cribs sold over the last decade after reports of the drop side malfunctioning.

– Over the last decade? It took you ten F***ing years to realize kids are crawling out of their beds without having to climb over because your POS Crib isn’t doing its ONLY JOB.

* Coca-Cola recalled more than 80,000 glasses after tests found the toxic metal cadmium was used in the glass’ decoration.

Cadmium is commonly found in paint so this isn’t quite as bad. It’s just Coca-Cola… I’d expect better of them, I’m happy it wasn’t a recall on an actual beverage, but, none-the-less, you are #1 in Beverages globally and the 73rd largest corporation in America… get it together.

* MTD Consumer Group Inc. recalled about 200 Cub Cadet Volunteer utility vehicles because the front lower ball joint may detach, causing a loss of steering, said the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission. The utes were sold at Cub Cadet dealers nationwide between April 2010 and September 2010 for between $6,800 and $9,800. The CPSC lists the model numbers involved in the recall.

– Volunteer work is voluntary. Steering however, is not. Not a huge recall; 200 vs. the millions of Childrens Benedryl Bottles they recalled and it’s automotive, nothing should hit the road that needs to be recalled, shit happens though.

* Robert Bosch Tool Corp. recalled about 20,000 Bosch hammer drills because the grounding system could create a electrical shock hazard and the drill’s switch can get stuck in the “on” position, the CPSC said. The drills were sold at home improvement, hardware and retail stores nationwide from September 2009 through August 2010 for between $140 and $220. Consumers should return the drill to the company for repair. CPSC lists the model numbers affected by the recall.

– Not only does this problem sound annoying, it is really dangerous. Say your screwing in a tight space, you get your screw in and as soon as your done, the drill keeps going, stripping your screw, and potentially ripping into anything in your tight area… hopefully not you!

* A stainless steel carafe sold at Macy’s stores and website was recalled because the handle can come loose and cause a spill.

– This just sucks… the handle just breaks, this sounds like something I did not too long ago. The way Macy’s is taking the hit here for the mishap is tell-tale of big companies using their name in the recall instead of the brand so that their business relationship can continue. Imagine if you knew who made that carafe, you wouldn’t buy their carafe, but Macy’s has many carafes, so shop on consumer!

* Meijer recalled a ceramic heater because the oscillating mechanism can short out and catch fire. Meijer got two reports of fires.

– You make a heater Meijer, it has two jobs, get warm, and be safe. That’s it. This recall comes with the nature of the beast so I won’t rip in but, Meijer, how many are there, I know there’s more than just one.. and why would you launch this without testing it to break point?

* VOS Sports Inc. recalled about 11,700 children’s hooded jackets and sweatshirts because they have a drawstring that can possibly strangle kids. The VOS Sports clothing was sold at outlet stores nationwide between January 2005 and February 2010 for between $17 and $34 each. CPSC lists the clothing styles affected by the recall. Consumers can either take the drawstrings off the jackets and sweatshirts or return them to VOS Sports for a refund.

– WTF! AGAIN WITH THE KIDS.. you make a jacket that small, here’s what you do… STEP 1: add safety features STEP 2: remove safety hazards. THATS ABOUT IT, right? The worst part of this one for me, other than their website sucking off the 90′s like Jenna Jamison, is their slogan on their site; “better image through quality and craftsmanship.” – Stop strangling kids and we might believe that. Either that or market to terrorists as the jacket with the guaranteed kill!

* Taper candles sold at Yankee Candle shops nationwide were recalled because the metallic paint can catch fire.

– Really? Did they read the label on the paint and see it said “Flammable”? and if they did, what made them forget they were painting candles?

* L.L. Bean recalled a folding camp rocker after getting reports of plastic pieces breaking and dumping consumers out of the chairs.

– TO EVERYONE IN BUSINESS, ESPECIALLY LL BEAN – STOP USING SHITTY PARTS! MAKE PROFITS BY USING QUALITY PARTS AND PRODUCING HONEST WORK.

* Krunchers Inc. recalled 18 cases of Jays Original Potato Chips because seasoning on the chips has a milk ingredient that wasn’t declared on the packaging. The chips were distributed at stores in Ohio, Indiana, Michigan, Wisconsin and Illinois. The FDA lists the product code of the 12-ounce bags affected.

– Small order didn’t have the full ingredient list… this is a pretty honest recall. Too bad for all those who weren’t supposed to have milk :0

* Artisan Confections Co. of Oregon recalled 33 cases of its Dagoba Organic Chocolate new moon Rich Dark Chocolate 74% cacao in 0.32-ounce squares because they may be contaminated with salmonella, the CPSC said. The chocolate was sold online and through natural and specialty food stores nationwide. The FDA listed the label codes.

– Salmonella, again? Damn you Artisan Confections! This is just a lack of good health processes and checking. I won’t be visiting their site.

* Costco warned consumers that Bravo Farms of California recalled all of its cheese — including varieties carried by Costco — after tests showed its plant was contaminated by e. coli and listeria bacteria.

– Like Macy’s before, Costco is in this recall, but they are pointing out, Bravo Farms FUCKED UP, not Costco. e. coli and listeria bacteria are common terms in recalls and can both be fatal.

* Full Speed Ahead recalled about 9,300 of its BB30 Gossamer crank sets that were installed on a number of bicycle makes because non-drive crank arm bolt shoulder can crack and the arm can fall off. A crank set is what attaches the chain and pedals to the bicycle. The company has gotten 11 reports of crashes with two consumers hurt. The sets were sold as standard equipment on bicycles at independent retailers nationwide between February 2010 and October 2010. The CPSC lists numerous bicycle brand names affected by the recall including Cannondale and Raleigh.

– AGAIN, – TO EVERYONE IN BUSINESS, ESPECIALLY LL BEAN – STOP USING SHITTY PARTS! MAKE PROFITS BY USING QUALITY PARTS AND PRODUCING HONEST WORK. CANNONDALE? RALEIGH? WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU GUYS?

* About 1,000 Ski-Doo Snowmobiles were recalled because electrostatic charges can spark in the fuel tank when the engine is idling, risking an explosion, the CPSC said. BRP US Inc. of Wisconsin has gotten three reports of explosions, one resulting in minor burns to a consumer’s face and hands. The snowmobiles were sold nationwide between March 2004 and March 2010 for between $9,000 and 10,000. Consumers should contact a Ski-Doo dealer for a free repair. The CPSC lists the model name.

– You thought Jesus walking on water was cool? Watch this… C’mon now, you didn’t test the idle state of your vehicle before selling it… what were you thinking?

* Somfy Systems Inc. recalled about 4,600 motorized awnings because the power cable can be severed while being opened and closed, putting consumers at risk of electrical shock, the CPSC said. The recall includes the Sunea CMO RTS motor in the awning. The awning were sold at retailers nationwide from December 2009 through September 2010. Consumers should contact Somfy for an installation of a replacement motor. The CPSC lists the model number affected by the recall.

– You guys didn’t open and close your awning before selling it? This is just retarded, you built a cord to sit between a scissor. Really? Why are you in business?

Ok, there it is. That was fun… can’t wait to see your thoughts.

My First Father Son Talk

Today
[You]
9:25pm
hey fucker
i miss u more ;) ;)
[Robert Kafka]
9:26pm
hello
[You]
9:59pm
hey
[Robert Kafka]
9:59pm
hi
[You]
9:59pm
hello??
[Robert Kafka]
10:00pm
I wanna talk
[You]
10:00pm
hello
[Robert Kafka]
10:00pm
I guess thats a start
[You]
10:01pm
ok
sorry man,
[Robert Kafka]
10:01pm
for me…..I’m sooooo glad to hear from you
[You]
10:01pm
my pc was giving me shit
u have no idea
[Robert Kafka]
10:01pm
shit happens
[You]
10:02pm
haha
ya
the second we start talking
creepy man
[Robert Kafka]
10:02pm
I have too many ideas…..kinda sukkkks
[You]
10:02pm
hshs
haha*
too many ideas like what?
cuz ive felt that a million times
[Robert Kafka]
10:02pm
what is hshs?
[You]
10:02pm
haha mispelled
[Robert Kafka]
10:02pm
ok,,,,thanks
[You]
10:03pm
where u livin nowadays?
[Robert Kafka]
10:03pm
too many ideas….just trying to let you know,,,,I understand
Salem Mass
wish you were here
[You]
10:04pm
thats cool
[Robert Kafka]
10:04pm
come see me
[You]
10:04pm
socal is where its at
maybe
not anytime soon
just got done paying off a truck
[Robert Kafka]
10:04pm
best I can ask 4
The best,,,, I hope
[You]
10:05pm
bit more debt to go and ill be out
[Robert Kafka]
10:05pm
sure you’re doing well
[You]
10:05pm
Bob, im kicking lifes ass
[Robert Kafka]
10:06pm
did you just call me…..Bob?
[You]
10:06pm
if u were here to see a glimpse of it
[Robert Kafka]
10:06pm
lol
Wish I was with you always
[You]
10:06pm
i know that feeling
have you seen your grandson?
[Robert Kafka]
10:07pm
do you?
[You]
10:07pm
ya
[Robert Kafka]
10:07pm
yes,,,,,your mom told me
how do I say????
I miss you & LOVE YOU
[You]
10:08pm
its a shitty feeling not having any control of your son
i hate it
[Robert Kafka]
10:08pm
ME TOOOOOOOOOOO
[You]
10:09pm
talk to me
what have you been doing for the last 20 years
why did my letters come back every time i thought i found you
[Robert Kafka]
10:09pm
My son went to Cali……..& I finally read,,,,,,Hi
[You]
10:10pm
ya
[Robert Kafka]
10:10pm
please call me now….if you want
[You]
10:10pm
i run a social networking department for a top internet advertising company, go see a movie about facebook on friday and the fucking thing introduces me to my maker
i cant talk on the phone right now
[Robert Kafka]
10:11pm
978-968-4567
you type very fast
[You]
10:11pm
id really like to talk on here for a bit and get to know each other
we can talk this weekend or something
[Robert Kafka]
10:11pm
Me tooooo
you decide
[You]
10:12pm
but dad, you have no idea
[Robert Kafka]
10:12pm
may I get an idea?
[You]
10:12pm
mom has told me soooooo many times if you were here to see me how proud youd be
[Robert Kafka]
10:12pm
please
yup
[You]
10:12pm
i have so many tears right now
[Robert Kafka]
10:12pm
I’m proud now
[You]
10:12pm
in and on my face
im shaking
i dont know what to think
[Robert Kafka]
10:13pm
r u my mirror?
[You]
10:13pm
from what i hear
with the same material unfortunately
haha
we are both assholes
;) ;)
[Robert Kafka]
10:13pm
I have not enough tears toofalling apart
fukkkk u
[You]
10:14pm
haha
[Robert Kafka]
10:14pm
never fall apart
[You]
10:14pm
fuck you dickhead
i wont
i havent
i cant
[Robert Kafka]
10:14pm
ty
[You]
10:14pm
there
its our
out
ha
[Robert Kafka]
10:14pm
I’ve had that problem too
I LOVE YOU…….weather you like it or not
[You]
10:15pm
i know
[Robert Kafka]
10:15pm
always have
[You]
10:15pm
it just sucks u cant spell whether right
haha
[Robert Kafka]
10:15pm
up yours
lmao
[You]
10:16pm
im going to say this hoping we dont ever lose touch again you got that…?
[Robert Kafka]
10:16pm
I got it ALLLLLLL
[You]
10:16pm
I love you too
[Robert Kafka]
10:16pm
I PROMISE
[You]
10:16pm
dont you ever break that
[Robert Kafka]
10:16pm
THANK YOU SOOOOOOO MUCH
[You]
10:16pm
thats the first one im going to get to remember
[Robert Kafka]
10:16pm
NEVER
I PROMISE
[You]
10:17pm
thanks dad
[Robert Kafka]
10:18pm
why are you being soooo good to me after all this time?…….thank you Robbie
[You]
10:18pm
because i know i cant change the past
[Robert Kafka]
10:19pm
I’ve missssssed you forever,,,,,,,toooooo many years
& it not you that ever should think he has too
Do you remember me from when we were together?????
[You]
10:20pm
i want to so bad
i remember a restaurant when i was 8
and ive had a few dreams with some salimander catching in them but idk when that was
[Robert Kafka]
10:21pm
lol
[You]
10:21pm
why am i being good? we have a lot of time to talk ;) ;)
lets get to the dirty shit…
u using?
[Robert Kafka]
10:22pm
not
[You]
10:22pm
ur my dad i have a right to knwo
not at all?
nothing?
dont lie either
[Robert Kafka]
10:22pm
I’ll be 100% honest in anything you ask
[You]
10:22pm
we should both be super open here
cool
i love knowing that
[Robert Kafka]
10:23pm
I do drink too much,,,,budwieser
[You]
10:23pm
ya man
shitty beer sucks life
if you do what i do
drink fat tire
or downtown brown
some new castle
[Robert Kafka]
10:23pm
I’ve tried many drugs,,,,glad I don’t like them
[You]
10:23pm
u drink less
thats good
[Robert Kafka]
10:24pm
yesssss
[You]
10:24pm
i drink on occassion
grow pot
LEGALLY!!!!
[Robert Kafka]
10:24pm
don’t drink lots……please
[You]
10:24pm
ya definitely not the drinker i was before cadin
[Robert Kafka]
10:25pm
pot is what I did at your age now,,,,,enjoy,,,,but, always be careful
[You]
10:25pm
ofcourse
u would love my garden
haha
work with me on this one
[Robert Kafka]
10:26pm
I’d love to huggggg you…..father to son
[You]
10:26pm
ur tellin me
u just rocked my night man
[Robert Kafka]
10:26pm
work w/ you on what?
[You]
10:26pm
the pot thing
it was like… work with me here, its what im into, i thought youd be too
[Robert Kafka]
10:27pm
you decide,,,,just be careful….I’ll help in any way
enjoy all you like,,,,,,,just as long as it doesn’t hurt you or your family
[You]
10:28pm
it is so amazing to know you are alive
will do pops
[Robert Kafka]
10:28pm
I feel that too …lol
[You]
10:29pm
what do you do for work?
[Robert Kafka]
10:29pm
Pops????? now
[You]
10:29pm
hey man
get used to it
[Robert Kafka]
10:29pm
yup
lmao
[You]
10:29pm
i gotta find a comfort zone here
[Robert Kafka]
10:29pm
me too
[You]
10:29pm
thats the amazing part
[Robert Kafka]
10:29pm
give me time to type too ….speeedy
[You]
10:30pm
haha
[Robert Kafka]
10:30pm
lol
[You]
10:30pm
u gotta upload more pics to ur profile man
[Robert Kafka]
10:30pm
yup
[You]
10:30pm
u married again? single?
[Robert Kafka]
10:31pm
you have a sister who is 3I’m single & with a Great girl
[You]
10:31pm
thats fucking awesome
wait
so hold on
[Robert Kafka]
10:31pm
who,,,,,,me???
[You]
10:31pm
that gives cadin an aunt thats younger than him
haha
[Robert Kafka]
10:32pm
lmfao
[You]
10:32pm
i think
right?
[Robert Kafka]
10:32pm
mothers day ,,,3 years ago
[You]
10:32pm
march 20
[Robert Kafka]
10:32pm
5/13/07
[You]
10:32pm
wow
1 week
haha
we was getting busy round the same time
thats funny
[Robert Kafka]
10:33pm
you are doing fine,,,,,take your time & fall truely ,,,in LOVE
[You]
10:33pm
o ya
totally
[Robert Kafka]
10:33pm
thats my boy
[You]
10:34pm
i dodged the marriage
i know better
cadin is a 100% product of myspace
i love him with 5 of my hearts but thats the honest truth
[Robert Kafka]
10:34pm
don’t forget,,,,,,,we all have a beautiful heart
[You]
10:35pm
so true
[Robert Kafka]
10:35pm
My girl says,,,,you are such a nice guy
[You]
10:35pm
thank you sweetheart
i do my best
[Robert Kafka]
10:35pm
my typing woke her up
[You]
10:36pm
well take a picture
post that shit
I made your man a Grand Daddy
haha
[Robert Kafka]
10:36pm
then we need to compare our best’s , because she said you use sweeeeeeetheart as I do
lmfao……you’re beautiful kid
[You]
10:37pm
haha
i use em all
suger
hun bun
babydoll
buttercup
angel
sorry, talking to 4 people
….
[Robert Kafka]
10:38pm
check my shitttt before you sound toooooooo sapppy
[You]
10:38pm
huh?
[Robert Kafka]
10:38pm
lmao
[You]
10:38pm
wtf
check my shit
[Robert Kafka]
10:39pm
where’s the humor now
[You]
10:39pm
cmon dad, dont you know better…
if you made me, wouldnt you expect me to be busy as shit out here in LA
[Robert Kafka]
10:39pm
I got some tooo,,,,,like yours also
YUP
Y^UP
good job
[You]
10:40pm
where u think imma find time to be stealin ur koolaid?
[Robert Kafka]
10:40pm
lmao
[You]
10:40pm
ok so
u gotta come out here man
[Robert Kafka]
10:40pm
EAST?WEST
[You]
10:40pm
ya
west is better
period
[Robert Kafka]
10:40pm
YUP
[You]
10:41pm
been here?
[Robert Kafka]
10:41pm
when is the last time you’ve been East coast?
[You]
10:41pm
umm
2 aprils ago
[Robert Kafka]
10:41pm
on my way soon
[You]
10:41pm
myrtle beach
[Robert Kafka]
10:41pm
then your due
[You]
10:41pm
and charlotte
ha
fuck you
[Robert Kafka]
10:42pm
up yours
[You]
10:42pm
lets not start talkin dues
pop
ha
[Robert Kafka]
10:42pm
right
[You]
10:42pm
happy birthday
x20
wow
[Robert Kafka]
10:42pm
you toooooo
[You]
10:42pm
u didnt get that
but that felt weird to type
[Robert Kafka]
10:42pm
don’t think,,,,,,,I don’t know
yes,,,,I did
[You]
10:43pm
there ya go
haha
hey
better idea
[Robert Kafka]
10:43pm
you tell me
[You]
10:43pm
u got a killer chick…
im driving distance from
[Robert Kafka]
10:44pm
the best
[You]
10:44pm
with plenty of bullpen to pull a date from…
lets meet in vegas
please tell me you have been there
[Robert Kafka]
10:44pm
not yet
[You]
10:44pm
o boy
[Robert Kafka]
10:44pm
but
[You]
10:45pm
haha
6 X so far
i love that place
[Robert Kafka]
10:46pm
I’m at almost 2 in the morning,,,,,,,,gotta get to bed soon…….you on your way here yet?
lol
[You]
10:46pm
i wish
hey
imma save ur number
[Robert Kafka]
10:46pm
yup
[You]
10:46pm
check out a couple of my sites
petproplus.com
[Robert Kafka]
10:46pm
when will you call
[You]
10:46pm
robsuccess.com
thats what i do
umm, prob not til the weekend
lets keep in touch here til then
[Robert Kafka]
10:47pm
I would like that way tooooooooo much
[You]
10:47pm
sounds good dad
love you fucker, goodnight!
[Robert Kafka]
10:48pm
I’ve missssssed you & always love you
gooodnight too
10:53pmRobert is offline.

Election 2008 – Finally, no more Bush

Well it has been a long road, and I for one, am ready for a new president. Obama has been looking like the winner throughout the campaigns over the last few months and it looks rather promising. If you are going to be watching the elections, here is what to look for:

All times are EST.

7 P.M. — If Obama carries Virginia and Indiana, two staunchly Republican states in presidential voting, he can probably start measuring the drapes. But if McCain wins or is very close in Virginia, where Obama has had a solid lead in the polls, it could be evidence that the surveys are off base and Election 2008 is going to be much closer than expected.

7:30 P.M. — The prize now is Ohio, ground zero in the last presidential election and a must-win for McCain to stop an Obama landslide. But if Obama wins there, then takes North Carolina, that landslide could be in the making.

8 P.M — For McCain, this could be the make-or-break hour. The largest chunk of electoral votes will be awarded, with the two biggest prizes being Florida and Pennsylvania. But elections watchers should pay close attention to Missouri, as well. It has voted for the winner in every presidential election since 1904, with the exception of 1956.

9 P.M. — If McCain has had successes in the early states, both camps will be watching the swing states of Colorado and New Mexico this hour. They are key in the Obama strategy. They will also be watching the returns from McCain’s home state of Arizona, where the polls have been tightening in recent days.

10 P.M. — The drama this hour will be in the swing states of Iowa and Nevada. But Montana, a Republican state that has been trending Democratic in state elections, could provide a surprise Obama victory and a measure of the party’s success in targeting the West.

11 P.M. — If the race is still in question, an expected sweep of the West Coast could wrap it up for Obama — or determine just how short he will fall.

In a matter of 36 hours, we will have a new president. In my personal opinion, because I voted for him, we are going to have our first black president in a matter of hours. Personally, I think it’s a great moment in American history as well as black history. I am proud to say, I voted for Barrack Obama!

Internet Marketing

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There are a lot of different ways to go about marketing your website. Some of the basic techniques will work much more effectively in certain markets while more advanced internet marketing methods will accelerate traffic to your website much faster.

Internet marketing is relatively inexpensive when compared to the ratio of cost against the reach of the target audience. Companies can reach a wide audience for a small fraction of traditional advertising budgets. The nature of the medium allows consumers to research and purchase products and services at their own convenience. Therefore, businesses have the advantage of appealing to consumers in a medium that can bring results quickly. The strategy and overall effectiveness of marketing campaigns depend on business goals and cost-volume-profit (CVP) analysis.

· Contextual advertising: Contextual advertising is one of the most popular forms of search advertising. Contextual advertising entails the placement of ads on web pages, whose content match with the content displayed on the website. For instance, an ad on watches will get displayed on sites that feature watch reviews, watch care articles etc.

-Google AdSense is the most popular, and most simple form of Contextual advertising. All you have to do is put build the ads on Google and attach the code to your site. Google’s spiders then crawl your site, and place relevant ads to your site. You get paid when people click onto those ads.

· PPC [Pay-Per-Click]: Under, Pay-Per-Click, the URL of the advertiser gets displayed on the right, bottom or top of the search results. The URL gets listed only when the keywords typed in by the user matches with those selected by the advertiser.

-PPC is great for small companies with a start up budget for generating instant traffic to your site and testing what keywords convert best for your particular product or service. However, this form of marketing grows with inflation and some keywords already cost upwards of $40 per-click.

· Affiliate Marketing: Affiliate marketing refers to an advertising form wherein the advertisers enlist the services of other websites to market his product. Basically, the affiliate has to display a banner, products or URLs of the advertiser on its website. The commission can be paid on cost-per-click, cost-per-sale, cost-per-lead basis.

-While less than 5% of websites with affiliate links generate income from those links, the advertisers benefit in 2 ways with affiliate marketing. Not only do you have a performance based ad out there publicizing your company, you also generate more inbound links to your website, popularizing your site in the eyes of the search engines, resulting in higher rankings.

· Rich Media Advertising: Rich Media Advertising refers to the use of streaming audio and video as well as applets for the promotion of the website. The audio or video placed on a web page offers interactivity to the viewers. It also enables the advertisers to communicate their message more effectively.

-Streaming audio and video is a very delicate process. While a Video Spokesperson can sell your product, playing background music that you like, may, and often turns off the customer and increases the speed in which they bounce off of your site, and probably not coming back.

· RSS: RSS stands for Really Simple Syndication. It is a web feed format that enables one to keep a tab on updated content. In other words, if a web surfer chooses a RSS option for a particular website, he will be able to keep abreast of the latest content that is being uploaded on a website. Advertisers often use RSS to convey the latest information about the launch of new products and services. RSS is also being popularly used by the advertisers to inform the customers about the latest discounts, bargains and offers.

· Blogging: Blogging too can prove to be a great medium for advertising. Many corporate houses maintain blogs as it enables them to interact with the netizens in an informal environment. It also allows them to slip the information about the likely new launches in a rather stealth manner. Businesses are also exploring the option of sponsoring a blog, which shares its synergies with the products and services of the company. Many business entities are also going in for getting their ads displayed on blogs. However, experts believe that including advertorials is a better idea. Advertorials can quickly get into the flow of the topic that is being discussed on the blog. On the other hand, the inclusion of advertisements might not go down well with the blog readers.

· Viral Marketing: ‘If one person knows about it, he will ensure that others come to know about it’ seems to be the working philosophy of viral marketing. If you are a regular visitor to the web, you will notice the ubiquitous ‘Tell a Friend’ below each article. Well, this is what viral marketing is all about. A friend reads an interesting offer, article or informative write-up and informs his friend. This friend then forwards, the same to his friend and the chain continues; thus, acting like a virus. Experts have noticed that the spread of information is faster if there are some freebies, discounts or special offers up for grabs.

· Auto responder Marketing: Not many would be aware of the fact that auto responder can fulfill the purpose of marketing. But it can and in a very effective manner. Most business entities use auto responder to deliver courses through auto responders. Most of these courses are of long duration usually spread over weeks. Auto responders can be used to deliver the course every week. Companies have realized that the courses can be designed in a manner that the company can indirectly promote its product or service. For instance, if you are a manufacturer of a video editing software, you can use start a course titled ‘ Basics of video –editing’. One can also use auto responders for delivery of articles that are in a way connected with the core business of a website. For instance, if you are a cheese producer, and also have a website, then you can consider delivering recipes based on cheese. You can also considering adding a word or two about your new variety of cheese.

· Search Engine Optimization: Search Engine Optimization is tweaking the site to enhance the rankings obtained by it on the search engines. It involves processes such as optimizing the content with a proper set of keywords or key phrases as well as making the site navigation structure much more friendly to users. It also includes taking small but vital steps such as getting linked to other websites, being indexed in the search engines and generating content as with a daily blog.


· Podcasting: Podcasts can be used for the purpose of information dissemination. Podcast is a portmanteau of the word Ipod and broadcast. This form of Internet advertising entails the insertion of audio clips in the audio files that are available for listening. The biggest advantage of podcasting is that it allows one to target niche audience. For instance, if you are a guitar manufacturer, you can insert your ads into clips that focus on music, especially that focus on guitars.

· Behavioral advertising: Behavioral advertising is one of the latest forms of Internet advertising. Here the ads that are visible to a web surfer are actually based on his previous surfing behavior. For instance, if a web surfer frequently visits sports section or sports site, then under behavioral advertising, he will mostly witness ads that are related to sports. So, even if he is surfing the net to buy that occasional pizza, he will be able to view sports ads. Thus, under behavioral advertising, the content of the site becomes irrelevant and the ads shown to a visitor are purely related to his past surfing habits. Behavioral advertising is proving to be very effective in reaching out to the customers as the ads are directly related to the interest of the readers.

· Mobile marketing: Under mobile marketing, the target audience is usually sent a SMS or a MMS to inform about the latest product or services that might be of interest to them. The fact that more and more people are availing mobile services has definitely led to a spurt in mobile marketing.

These are some of the most popular forms of Internet advertising and I am here to help you with any of them. I am partnered with the #1 SEO Company on Google and enjoy internet marketing and all angles of it. I hope I can help make you more money soon.

- Robert Kafka

Things I Want to Do


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· Learn Sign language.

· Learn another language.

· Visit the White House.

· Have name on Head-Line news.  (Hopefully for the good)

· Visit all 50 states in the US.

· Visit all 7 Continents.

· Visit Ireland.

· See the Wall Of China.

· Sky Dive.

· Raft the Colorado River.

· Own land.

· Retire before the age of 50.

· Invent something.

· Write a book.

· Write a song.

· Ride a motorcycle from coast to coast.

· Hang Glide

· For New Year’s go to New York’s Time Square.

· Swim with the dolphins – DONE

· Swim with the Sting Rays – DONE

· Walk across the Golden Gate Bridge.

· Ride the waves of Hawaii on a surf board.

· Scuba Dive

· Go Bungee Jumping

· Start College

· Finish Associates Degree

· Finish Bachelors Degree

- Finish Masters

· Start Investing in Real Estate

· Buy a Brand New Car

· Get 50/50 custody of Cadin

· Learn to ride a motorcycle

· Go to the XGames

· Go to the Olympics (as a spectator)

· Quit Smoking

· Workout daily

· Launch PetProPlus DONE 10-14-2008

· Get a Vasectomy

· Win the Lottery

· Send Cadin to College

· Become Financially Free

· Straighten teeth

· Get Lasik Eye Surgery

· Get Massage Therapist Certification

· Get out of debt

· Help 100 Websites Generate more traffic and sales

· Buy a boat

- Buy and rent property in Las Vegas

· Meet You

Photoshopping mySpace friends

Do you have a website? Make it PROFITABLE

If you have a website, you know traffic is the biggest factor in making profit. Without it, you’re just another billboard in the middle of a desert noones heard of. Marketing should be well planned before you start your new website. If you already have a website, don’t worry, it’s not too late to build free targeted traffic to your site. There are three simple steps to follow to make your website profitable:

1. Content - Often referred to as king, content is what the search engines’ spyders are going to crawl. Creating quality unique content gives the spyders plenty of web to crawl. With proper keyword density, this will build your website’s relevancy to your chosen keywords. Blogging and RSS feeds are great sources of “search engine food.”

2. TAGS - Meta tags, alt, title, H1, 2, and 3 tags should be working for you, shouldn’t they? If your tags are not optimized to build your website’s popularity and support your targeted keywords, you are literally throwing potential customers in the trash. I hate to be so harsh but for a one time, with maybe monthly updates, who wouldn’t take the time to attract the potential lost customer?

3. LINKS - I am really surprised at how few inbound links some websites have. SEO is a lot like high school in the sense that the internet is a popularity contest. Inbound links (from other sites to yours) are votes for you, while outbound links (any link taking the visitor away from your site) are votes against you.

Example:

Google has

294,293,538 inlinks on Yahoo

42,400,000 inlinks on MSN

951,000 inlinks from themselves

Thats a site where we used to look for other sites!!!

Contact me today for a free website analysis and consultation

 

Robert Kafka

818-661-4323

SEO Checklist – SEO Do’s and Don’ts – SEO Tools – SEO Expert

SEO Checklist

The WebConfs website has a very useful list of “Best and Worst Practices for Designing a High Traffic Website.”

Basically they collected all the major factors that might affect the search optimization of your site, attributing a score to them. The score ranges from -3, which is very bad for your site, to +3, which is very good. Below you will find a summary of the most important factors:

Keywords

  • Keyword in title tag (+3)
  • Keyword in URL (+3)
  • Keyword density in document (+3)
  • Keyword in H1 and H2 headings (+3)
  • Keyword in the beginning of document (+2)
  • Keyword in ALT tags (+2)
  • Keyword in Meta tags (+1)
  • Keyword stuffing (-3)

Links

  • Anchor text of inbound links (+3)
  • Origin of inbound links (+3)
  • Links from similar sites (+3)
  • Links from .edu and .gov sites (+3)
  • Anchor text of internal links (+2)
  • Many outgoing links (-1)
  • Outbound links to bad neighbors (-3)
  • Cross-linking (-3)

Meta Tags

  • Description Meta Tag (+1)
  • Keywords Meta Tag (+1)
  • Refresh Meta Tag (-1)

Content

  • Unique content (+3)
  • Frequent updates (+3)
  • Age of content (+2)
  • Poor coding or design (-2)
  • Invisible text (-3)
  • Doorway pages (-3)
  • Duplicate content (-3)

Other factors

  • Site accessibility (+3)
  • Sitemap (+2)
  • Site size (+2)
  • Site age (+2)
  • Top-level domain (+1)
  • URL length (0)
  • Hosting downtime (-1)
  • Flash (-2)
  • Misused Redirects (-3)

Since this checklist is a little old… and I am finally updating this post, I personally recommend hopping over to www.websitegrader.com if you already have a website and checking out what you need to do to

For the #1 Internet Advertising Company on Google, call Robert at 818-661-4312 today.

Call 209-867-7361 to talk to me, Robert Kafka, and start on your path to perfect rankings.

Here are some great places to get started if you want to wing it on your own and not call me

Website Grader

Backlink Watch

SpyFu

Compete

Matt Cutts

Link Popularity

SEO Quake

HTP Company

There is a lot more out there… and a lot of it will hurt you more than help. I could sit here and list every good resource, but then you wouldn’t call me. I hope this checklist is helpful for you and look forward to seeing you at the top.

-Robert Kafka

209 TOP SEO1

How To Beat A Case of the Mondays

Did you have a good weekend? I sure did. I was at a party on Friday night. Dropped a car off at the shop Saturday. Had dinner in Ventura saturday night. Then a huge house party in the Valley. After that my friend called me from Santa Clarita and I ended up at a hotel where I got a whole hour of sleep. Then Mother’s Day came and I gave cards to a couple friends, Cadin’s mom and grandma. When my mom finished reading the card I got for her and tears started gliding down her cheek, I knew I picked the right card. And I had a date later that night…who flaked.

I had a busy weekend, fun, but busy. What is it about mondays that just drain me? Is it because I am exhausted from the weekend and should have taken it easier Sunday before the work week? Or is it because I didn’t eat breakfast this morning? Maybe I shouldn’t have stayed up so late? Perhaps “wake and bake” isn’t the most productive way to start the day? Whatever it is, I know a case of a mondays when it’s upon me.

So, how do you beat a case of the mondays? Easy…

Step 1 - Try to go to bed at an hour that will allow you to get at least 8 hours of sleep. I recommend Select Comfort Sleep Number beds, I have had one for 4 years and it still feels like the day I bought it and my sleep number is 65.

Step 2 – Set ONE alarm and DO NOT SNOOZE. If you wake up knowing you can snooze, you will. Wake up when the alarm goes off and do what it takes to wake up; take a shower, walk the dog, go for a run, make breakfast and/or coffee, watch the morning news, clean up from the night before… whatever you do, wake up, it’s time for reality again.

Step 3 – BREAKFAST. Would you drain all of the gas out of your car and then drive it to work? Ofcoarse not. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up? You use the restroom, draining all of the processed waste from the once nutrient rich food you ate the day before. You used all your gas. Breakfast is the morning fill up. Coffee is not a substitute. McDonald’s is on occassion, but drive thru’s will only keep you alive. A good, well balanced, complete breakfast is ideal for a sure shot at having a great monday vs. a case of the mondays.

Step 4 – Smile. When you smile at someone, typically they smile back. If you had not smiled at them, they never would have smiled at all. It is not hard to give your smile away and you can do it all day long. You really can change a persons day simply by smiling and saying “hi.”

Step 5 – Remember, it’s only monday. If your week starts off bad, chances are, it’s going to stay that way. If you start the week with these few simple steps, you are in the drivers seat and you can decide how your week will go.

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